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Might as well take a break

IRonMaN
Level 15

Since tax season isn't going to be starting until 3/27 this year, you could enjoy a little humor to brighten the day.  Ok, it's very little humor, but it's humor -------- at least give me credit for trying.

 

Lena: “Der is trouble vit da car, sveetheart. It has vater in da carburetor.”

Ole: “Vater in da carburetor? Dat is ridiculous.”

Lena: “Ole, I tell you da car has vater in the carburetor.”

Ole: “You don’t even know vat a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Ver is da car?”

Lena: “In da lake.”

 

 

Ole and Lena are out at the lake, getting ready to put the boat in the water, Lena driving and Ole standing in the pickup bed.

The brakes fail as Lena’s backing the boat into the lake, and the truck submerges.

Lena swims out the open window, but Ole doesn’t come up for the longest time.

Finally, up pops Ole. Lena asks him, “What took you so long?”

Ole replies, “Oh, you know, that tailgate is hard to open!”

 

Ole and Lena got married.

After a beautiful ceremony and a fun but modest reception they got in Ole’s car and headed out on their honeymoon.

When they reached Saint Paul, Ole put his hand on Lena’s knee.

Lena said, “Ole, we’re married now. You can go farder den dat.”

So Ole drove to Duluth.


Ukraine - hang in there
Labels (1)
14 Replies 14
dkh
Level 14

Thanks for the smiles...and I admit I did giggle out loud.

Stand with Ukraine
IRonMaN
Level 15

It's simple, stupid humor ----------- it's tax season, I don't want to make people think too hard.


Ukraine - hang in there
dascpa
Level 10

Where do homeless accountants live? In tax shelters!

What does the pessimistic accountant think? It’s accrual world.

Why are most accountants so good looking? They have great figures.

What’s an accountant’s favorite cereal brand? Post.

What does the cannibal CPA charge? An arm and a leg.

Why are accountants always tired after work? Because their job is so taxing.

What is an actuary? An accountant without a sense of humor.

How many accountants does it take to change a lightbulb? As many as it took last year.

What do accountants in the Army live by? Be audit you can be.

How do know your child will be a CPA when they grow up? When you read them Cinderella and the pumpkin turns into a golden carriage, they ask, “Is that ordinary income or capital gain?”

Why did the CPAs divorce? They couldn’t reconcile their differences.

Why do shady accountants make bad chefs? They try cooking the books.

Why are taxes like golf? Because you work hard on the green just to end up in the hole.

What sort of taxes do marijuana dispensaries file? Joint returns.

What sort of taxes are there on trash bags? Hefty ones, and no one is Glad about it.

Why did the IRS audit a chiropractor? Because he owed back taxes.

Bye.

IRonMaN
Level 15

"How many accountants does it take to change a lightbulb? As many as it took last year"

You have to be an accountant to get that one, and better yet, an auditor.


Ukraine - hang in there

I only know one.  I'm humor-challenged. 

Why did the accountant cross the road?

Because that was what he did last year.


I come here for kudos and IRonMaN's jokes.
IRonMaN
Level 15

Well, that one qualifies.  Welcome to the Joke of the Month Club.  We meet here every five to six months.


Ukraine - hang in there

Regarding Joke of the Month Club, just for my curiosity, before the internet, did you rotate among the 53 states for the club meeting?


I come here for kudos and IRonMaN's jokes.
IRonMaN
Level 15

No, we just kept it to the 51 continental states.


Ukraine - hang in there

Oh, Okay.  But which continent?


I come here for kudos and IRonMaN's jokes.
IRonMaN
Level 15

New Jersey


Ukraine - hang in there

Great!! I'd hate crossing the ocean for Old Jersey.


I come here for kudos and IRonMaN's jokes.
Camp1040
Level 9

Soooo, was the tailgate hard to open because the 4X2's damaged it?

No, it was not damage.  I heard he had to wait for a 4-digit code from Intuit, which was pending on a payment from him.  


I come here for kudos and IRonMaN's jokes.
IRonMaN
Level 15

"Soooo, was the tailgate hard to open because the 4X2's damaged it?"

No, the tailgate lock was a little sticky.  He hauled a couple of loads of lutefisk the day before and some of the lutefisk juices dripped into the lock.


Ukraine - hang in there