As a matter of fact, I have decided to file the amended return as MFJ just as the original return was filed.  At this point, the IRS has NOT contested the filing status at all, only the excessive deductions.  I am filing the 1040X removing all the contested deductions, AS PER INSTRUCTIONS FROM THE EXAMINER, hoping this will satisfy.  I decided that to try and change the filing status would just open another box of worms, since the IRS is apparently unaware that they were not married and if asked, I will tell them that as far as I knew, they were married.  The original problem was getting her to sign an amended return and his family wanted him to file single and leave her to hang in the wind.  I have decided that if she refuses to sign, we will file with his signature and a letter stating that she refused to sign the corrected return.  I don't think this is a great solution, but seems to be the best available.  All of you have made valid and helpful suggestions and I am still open to any and all you might have.   Thanks again for all the input.