Before I forgot I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year.  If you are going out to party on New Years, have fun, but be safe.  If you aren't going out to party, you don't have to worry about being safe, you already are ---------- unless you live next to a highway and one of those unsafe folks drives their car through your living room wall on New Years Eve.  Also, have a good tax season ------------ if there is such a thing.  🤔

No Sven or Ole, or even Lena today.  Just a few quotes from my favorite comedian George Carlin:

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight

How is it possible to have a civil war

I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck

War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die

Religion is like a pair of shoes: Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes

The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me — they’re cramming for their final exam.

Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice

Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac

If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea … does that mean that one enjoys it

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things