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And now, a word (or words) from Clarence

Level 15

This was in the Frostbite Falls Gazette the other day and thought I would share with everyone.  We can all use helpful information as we get older.

For our retired friends

It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they
were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are
oversensitive and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Clarence. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife,
Marie. When I took "early retirement," it became necessary for Marie to get
a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health
benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working I noticed she was
beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from the Golf Course about the same time she gets home
from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she
has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't
yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she
gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Grill at the club so
eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit
that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's not
unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do
what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that
they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to
motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. I really think my
experience as a manager helps a lot. I consider that telling people what
they ought to do is one of my strong points.

Now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much more
quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she
just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of
this; as long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I'm willing
to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to
the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or Saturday's
poker club, or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling, or something like that, I
will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives
her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends like shampooing the
dog, vacuuming or dusting. Also, if I had a really good day on the course
and it was wet and muddy, my clubs are a mess, so I let her clean them, you
know ..... get the grit off the grips and a little light Brillo on the club
faces at a casual pace. My golf bag is heavy so I lift it out of the trunk
for her. Women are delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as
good as men. But I did tell her I don't like to be wakened during my
after-golf nap, so rather than bother me, she can put them back in the trunk
when she's finished.

Another symptom of her aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will
say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour. But boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just
smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even
three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that
missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt
her any (if you know what I mean). When doing simple jobs, she seems to
think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only
half finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene.

I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly
squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making
one for herself, she may as well make one for me too, and then
take her break by my hammock. That way she can talk with me until I fall

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Marie. I'm not
saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it
difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how
frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use
a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this
article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we
are put on this earth to help each other.


EDITOR'S NOTE: Clarence passed away suddenly Friday,  April 5th. He was found
with a Calloway extra long 50 inch Big Bertha Driver II rammed up his
rectum, with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Marie was arrested, but
the all-woman Grand Jury accepted her defense that he accidentally sat on
it, and died!

ACME Taxes, Tatoos, Tires and Tomatoes (I had to get rid of the turtles - they kept running away)
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Level 15

That's a good story.


View solution in original post

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5 Replies 5
Level 15

That's a good story.


View solution in original post

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Level 15
Good story or happy ending? :wink::wink:
ACME Taxes, Tatoos, Tires and Tomatoes (I had to get rid of the turtles - they kept running away)
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Level 11
Level 11

Excellent story and I'll say it has a great ending.

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Level 15
The moral of the story is - watch where you sit.
ACME Taxes, Tatoos, Tires and Tomatoes (I had to get rid of the turtles - they kept running away)
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Level 11
Level 11
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