Whenever a client comes in, I give them a rough idea when the return will be ready and tell them that we will call when the return is done.  A number of years ago, I had a client call and ask if his return was ready yet ----------------- even though he had received the standard speech.  I told him it wasn't ready, and for every phone call he made to check on the status, I was going to push back the completion date an extra week.  He is still a client, and he has never called again asking me if his return was done.