IRonMaN
Level 15
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It's been a tough tax season so far, so take a break and try to smile:

The United States Treasury has announced they are recalling the new Minnesota quarters. "We are recalling all of the new Minnesota quarters that were recently issued," Treasury Undersecretary Russell Shackelford said in a press conference Monday.

"This comes in the wake of numerous reports to this agency that the quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones or other coin-operated devices. We believe the problem lies in a design flaw," said Shackelford.

The winning design for the Minnesota quarter had been submitted by Sven Petersen and Ole Johnson of Hibbing, Minnesota. Sven commented, "Who knew? Apparently, the duct tape holding the two dimes and nickel together jams the coin-operated devices."


Heikki and Hilma hurried into the dentist office. Heikki says to the dentist, "Doctor, I'm in one heck of big hurry! I have a couple of buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go fishing. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it. I don't have the time to wait for the anesthetic to work!

Dentist: Are you sure you want me to pull the tooth without using anything to kill the pain?

Heikki: Absolutely!

Dentist: OK, sir, which tooth is it?

Heikki turns to Hilma and says: Open your mouth, dear, and show the doctor which tooth hurts.



One dark night outside a small town in Wisconsin, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames.

The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."

But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.

As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.

From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight.

It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.

Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.

Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire & fought it back on all sides.

It was a performance and effort never seen before.

Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas.

The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.

The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film,asking their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat truck!

ACME Taxes, Tatoos, Tires and Tomatoes (I had to get rid of the turtles - they kept running away)
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itonewbie
Level 15
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I love the last one!  Probably because I'm partial to the noble profession of fire fighters!

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IRonMaN
Level 15
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I'm partial to the last one because I am partial to bad brakes :fire_engine::fire_engine:
ACME Taxes, Tatoos, Tires and Tomatoes (I had to get rid of the turtles - they kept running away)
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abctax55
Level 15
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Jensen - why?
I am, too.  My husband was a Captain with the local FD for 27 years....once you are part of that *family* it exists forever & is world wide.
I'm not taking any new clients, except for any new firefighter in town.  THEY always get the "A" treatment.
Former Chump..oops..AllStar...I used to be a people person, then people ruined it


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itonewbie
Level 15
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Bad brakes... reminds me of the AT&T advertisement with the brake shop guy telling the customer, "we got a saying here, if the brakes don't stop them, something will." :joy::joy:
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itonewbie
Level 15
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Before coming into this trade, I contemplated joining fire services except I got a bad knee and know I wouldn't pass the physical where I'd have to crawl through tight spaces.
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itonewbie
Level 15
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Hats off to your hubby for his service and dedication! :bow::bow:
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abctax55
Level 15
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Thank you....they truly are a special breed of human beings.  Our local FD also runs the ambulance service (which my husband hated - he just wanted to fight fires...)
I tell them often that I wouldn't do what they do for anything; a mistake on a tax return is only money.  A mistake as a medic can be life or death.
Many of our FD personnel are also on the local SAR team (Search & Rescue).  We have folks who wander off or deliberately leave the defined ski areas & get lost in the back country.  They get to go out (usually at night) to rescue these folks even in raging blizzards.  They are special.
Former Chump..oops..AllStar...I used to be a people person, then people ruined it


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itonewbie
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Totally agree.  They ARE special. :+1::+1:
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abctax55
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Yep...the "Firefighter's Association" has to file a F 990 which I do pro bono  and will as long as I'm practicing.
Former Chump..oops..AllStar...I used to be a people person, then people ruined it


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abctax55
Level 15
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Jeff, how do you get just three days left?

Fri/Sat/Sun X 14 hours/day ./. an 8 hour day equals 5 days AT LEAST :smile:

edit:

AND don't forget we lose one hour tomorrow night (technically, Sun a.m at 2:00).  Seriously, could the timing on that be *any* worse for us tax pro's?

double edit:

Jensen - I'm guessing YOU don't have to deal with the whole Daylight Saving mess, eh?

Former Chump..oops..AllStar...I used to be a people person, then people ruined it


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IRonMaN
Level 15
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Don't remind me about that missing hour :sleepy::sleepy:
ACME Taxes, Tatoos, Tires and Tomatoes (I had to get rid of the turtles - they kept running away)
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abctax55
Level 15
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Sorry.. but I wouldn't want you to be late for church.
Former Chump..oops..AllStar...I used to be a people person, then people ruined it


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IRonMaN
Level 15
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That's ok.  I'm looking at joining the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster but don't know what time Sunday services are.
ACME Taxes, Tatoos, Tires and Tomatoes (I had to get rid of the turtles - they kept running away)
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abctax55
Level 15
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I'm sure they wouldn't start without you.
Former Chump..oops..AllStar...I used to be a people person, then people ruined it


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itonewbie
Level 15
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And maybe that's why they don't have any regular service yet.
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IRonMaN
Level 15
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It's tough finding a pew in the back of the church when you can't find the church.
ACME Taxes, Tatoos, Tires and Tomatoes (I had to get rid of the turtles - they kept running away)
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itonewbie
Level 15
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Chicken and egg...
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IRonMaN
Level 15
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Bacon.
ACME Taxes, Tatoos, Tires and Tomatoes (I had to get rid of the turtles - they kept running away)
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itonewbie
Level 15
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I'd say all three can go into the same sandwich :yum::yum:
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