IRonMaN
Level 15
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It's been a tough tax season so far, so take a break and try to smile:

The United States Treasury has announced they are recalling the new Minnesota quarters. "We are recalling all of the new Minnesota quarters that were recently issued," Treasury Undersecretary Russell Shackelford said in a press conference Monday.

"This comes in the wake of numerous reports to this agency that the quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones or other coin-operated devices. We believe the problem lies in a design flaw," said Shackelford.

The winning design for the Minnesota quarter had been submitted by Sven Petersen and Ole Johnson of Hibbing, Minnesota. Sven commented, "Who knew? Apparently, the duct tape holding the two dimes and nickel together jams the coin-operated devices."


Heikki and Hilma hurried into the dentist office. Heikki says to the dentist, "Doctor, I'm in one heck of big hurry! I have a couple of buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go fishing. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it. I don't have the time to wait for the anesthetic to work!

Dentist: Are you sure you want me to pull the tooth without using anything to kill the pain?

Heikki: Absolutely!

Dentist: OK, sir, which tooth is it?

Heikki turns to Hilma and says: Open your mouth, dear, and show the doctor which tooth hurts.



One dark night outside a small town in Wisconsin, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames.

The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."

But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.

As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.

From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight.

It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.

Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.

Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire & fought it back on all sides.

It was a performance and effort never seen before.

Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas.

The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.

The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film,asking their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat truck!

ACME Taxes, Tatoos, Tires and Tomatoes (I had to get rid of the turtles - they kept running away)
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